:: crazymacaroons ::

wowww

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 10:19:11 GMT

dang dude, it's been forever and a day since i post stuff in here! CRAZZYYY.

reading all the past entries that i had reminds me of so many memories. it was like opening a door back to the past. it brought out a lot of feelings. some good, some bad. all i could do was breathe. it seems like every entry has some kind of baggage attached to it. Now i remember why i shut this down [other than the fact that i didn't have a lot of friends here on LJ].

well, its been about 2 years since my last post. 2009 -- i guess more new posts. :]

better posts. :]

i never knew...

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 21:37:17 GMT

....that heartbreak is such a bitch...

***

i got in the program btw. woohoo. my life officially ends aug.27th, since that's when school starts.

happy new year

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 20:24:50 GMT

days pass by so quickly, you don't even realize that you've stepped into the new year already. yes my friends, it's already 2007. and its just now that i have updated my blog. forgive me. *sigh* i don't have any excuse for my laziness. but...i dont regret one bit of it. i enjoyed just chilling on the couch, watching tv, and sleeping all day long. there should be more days like those...but it does get tiring after awhile. i am here in janice's new apartment and although she is asleep right now, i am not complaining. i don't have any reason to. this is a good change for me. yesterday i went back to work already..and although there were some parts of the day that were tiring, it still felt worth it to go back to work. i didn't feel like waking up early though but nevertheless that didn't stop me from going to work.

i just finished watching breakfast at tiffany's. its the first time i watched it. audrey hepburn is beautiful, isn't she? i love her style.. she's very sophisticated. the movie was not bad. icould relate. maybe everybody could relate to it at some level you know? i didn't know that moon river was sung in this movie too. i am totally in love with this song now!

Moon river, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.

~*~

poetic moment

"brick wall"

i type these words
trying to find sense in my thoughts
searching for feelings
of happiness, loneliness...
just searching deep in side
for true, honest feelings
of the day
of the time
of the moment
of my situation

i listen to Moon River
and admire Audrey Hepburn's beauty
there's so much inspiration
to write lyrics and poems

i turn head,
and look to my right
i see grass, plants and flowers in pots
i look around,
see vases of all colors, shapes and sizes
a podium with the remains of a smoke
blinds on windows
on a neighbor's home

and i stare on a wall
a red brick wall
and this is where i shall stop.
this is where i shall end.

~*~

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 23:43:21 GMT

here are my friends performing...

ito practice session nila...

great job guys..wag niyong kakalimutan si "doc" pag nag perform kau sa england ha! hehe!

continuing my wish list

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 20:09:09 GMT

bday wish list.

well i already got my book shelf from ikea last night so one item down already! in replace of that (LOL), i forgot to put in one thing ive been wanting since i came here to the states..a guitar! :p my guitar skills suck now. my hands are rusty and it hurts when i try to play. i miss my old guitar, all my friends in high school pitched in to buy me that and they signed it. i love that guitar. but unfortunately i left it with an ex bf..& idk what he's done with it. :/

well anyway thats the update. i hope everyone out there is enjoying their time off from school/ work..be safe yall!

ugh.

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 05:22:45 GMT

no call today :(

aw. how come?

i mish u.

i hope u had fun today, and maybe next xmas, i won't be singing that song....

"last christmas, i gave you my heart but the very next day, you gave it away..."

ay sus ang drama. :p ni wala nga kaming xmas eh....hehe..jk jk jk.

don't text. i ran out of my free txt :(

1 more month before my bday

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 04:29:41 GMT

Normally, I would’ve already made my final plans by now for my bday bash. But now im not ready. I don’t even know what to do. I used to be so happy and excited when I know my birthday is coming up. But now it seems as though the whole idea of celebrating birthdays have lost its luster. And how sad, I’m only going to be 22 come January. Oh well. I don’t know why im not as excited as I used to be. I guess for me there’s nothing much to look forward to…im not too keen on the idea that im getting older. I really never thought that this day would come…ive always thought that turning 22 on January 22 would take forever to happen. && now Forever seems to be just a month away…

My birthday wish list…should any of you would want to give me something….obvious hints so yall wont have a hard time picking out gifts for me (lol):

1. quiero mi novio a casa para mi cumpleaños… fat chance eh…yeah..i want him home..butttttt I don’t think that’s gonna happen! L
2. new camera. So I can be a camwhore and takes lots of pictures for you and me. ;P
3. money
4. gift cards
5. bags
6. shoes
7. clothes
8. undies. Cute ones. Not granny’s…okay?
9. mp3
10. bookshelf…lol…yeah. Idk if I’ll be able to get it for new year’s so until I haven’t I’m putting it on my bday wish list.
11. belt buckles
12. kidrobot/ tokidoki stuff. Anything from them is hella tight.
13. a new racket for racquetball
14. new eyeguards & equipment for handball & raquetball.
15. a plush bathrobe. the one from bath and body works! the reallyyyy soft one.
16. rob. that would really make my day. :)

Unfortunately, my bday lands on a Monday (how boring!) like this year it landed on a Sunday…so I really don’t know what to do. I’ll prolly just eat out with the peeps, idk. Maybe. But ugh, planning for it is such a hassle. Whatever. It doesn’t matter..i’ll be in school on that day anyway.

friday at 810 am.

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 14:42:45 GMT

not much to do, just woke up. i slept pretty early last night and woke up at around 7-ish. its almost the end of another week again..oh man time travels fast..real fast!! before you know it the holiday break is over and we're back to doing our same old routine...school & work..and whatever else u do. the last few days of work (mon-wed) was boring as hell. we had around 2 or 3 student workers in the office, w/c was too much i think coz the days were not busy at all. we did what we were asked to do..but still there wasn't much to do anyway. the last three days of work went by really slow. its okay though we don't get to do that often and plus we all got our hours in. i drew stuff on the paper during my free time...

my turtle can beat yours any time of the day..and with a smile too! hehe :p

this is mousy. he's cool...

my own drawing of happy feet..or maybe hugsy from friends..

lol. i suck, don't i? i think i need to take art classes or something.

here's a picture of a flower i took with my phone. i tried to fix it but it didnt work out well..i need to improve my photoshop skills.

okay now for some real art!!! i asked a friend/ co worker to draw me a raccoon...he's too awesome.. here are his stuff:

*btw, that raccoon is my alter-ego. hehehe!

and i asked to get this from his file too..hehe. my baby raccoon. i shall name it "dunny"

now thats something eh? if you wanna check out his stuff..go to runde.deviantart.com
** thanks eugene!!! :)

after wednesday night, honey, rachelton, eddy and i went to see some of my classmates perform after their simbang gabi thingy. there were so many ppl there but we were there mainly to support gb, jansen & james. great job guys! may groupie na kayo. idk where my pics are but i'll try to post them up here. i had fun with the ladies. its been so long since we all hung out, and it was definitely a good way to end the semester. we were all stressed out coz of school, finals, pasalamat...yeah and now its all done! time to parteeeee! haha. well yeah this holiday break i definitely want to go out and just enjoy the time ive got off. i go back to work on the 4th x( i hate it but oh well i gots to earn me some moneyyyy!!! i wish it couldve just been handed to me though. haha. fat chance!!
the ladies slept over and though there was some drama that night (w/c id rather not elaborate) it all came out good. today we're suppose to go out but idk what honey's plans are. i hope i get to talk to rob again. i miss him a lotttttt....boohoo :(((

ayt im out gotta go runnn like the wind LoL. ok i'll stop. ciao! ;]

year end pasalamat weekend

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 04:04:50 GMT

i don't know how i ever did it, but yes, i did it. i was able to memorize the proc. hymns..thank God!! It was a blessed day, of course!! I had a haircut on saturday as planned, (& it came out good too btw)...and had lunch with my parents @ chili's. after that i came home and fixed my hair...tried to memorize all my hymns & prepared for practice..it was a busy day..i was able to talk to rob though but not for long since his fone is messed up.

sunday

got up. went to church. cried my heart out. sang like i was on top of a mountain...
it was very spiritual. ka pastor was the one that officiated it..his family was there except ramon. i was suppose to have lunch at home even though everyone had planned to eat at kirin for lunch. i kept on calling my folks but they weren't picking up. i called aya and she said that my folks were with them @ kirin! can u believe that...they didn't even tell me...ugh. so anyway rachelton and i followed to kirin to have lunch with the peeps..here are some pics i took with my camera phone

tahong with a baby crab (crablette!?) inside it...isn't it grody it ate the crab!

marc and his hair all slicked back..doesn't he look so suave and debonaire! just like 007..except he's not..LOL.

ayang being all goofy n funny. she ate my lemons and the oranges. hehe.

rachelton didn't want to smile coz she said there might be something in her teeth. hehe.

my macaroons. i love them.

and at night...

this is onat....loud & hyper that night

me and toni..nakakagigil siya sobra! she's such an angel.

anyhow... after the pm worship service rachelton and i went home to change and went back to the chapel, and just chilled with everybody there. the boys/men played bball as usual and the rest were scattered, binhi running around, some watching tv/ shows..yano the usual happenings during guarding night. it was funnn. some k/b played mafia..it was very interesting game...but long one just coz the towns ppl couldnt figure out who the damn mafia ppl are (including me..haha!!) but its alright it made it more fun and intruiging...eveybody was loud..

overall, it was a good way to end the week..it was a very hectic week for me..i had finals, devotional prayer, work, extended choir practices..all happening that week..it was exhausting but all worth it.

it sucks that those are all the pics i have for now. im waiting on other ppl's pictures so i can post them up on my page. i took some video shots last night but i still couldnt get it to transfer over from video cam -> laptop. x_X i want a new camera...a nice, sleek, slim one that takes good pictures :p

i feel good. and blessed. i miss my rob..his phone's dead and idk when i'll be able to talk to him & hear his voice. we chat, but its not the same... oh well. cant do much abt it.. anyway, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? ;)...i'll just wait! we'll just wait.

welps im hitting the sack. that's all folks! good night! don't let the crablette bite! hehe!

get your butt up!

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 15:38:17 GMT

so many things to do... i haven't finished memorizing the english & tagalog processional hymn for the year end thanksgiving..and guess what..our final practice is tonight & thanksgiving is tomorroww...arrghhh!!! i have to get a hair cut too and get my hair net and all that good stuff for tonight. at least i know all my hymns & my abuloy is ready..so no more problem in that area...but omg both the proc hymns are harrrd :( :( :(

oh shnaps i gotta do laundry too!!!!!!

whoa...

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 22:04:37 GMT

wow, its been more than a year since i last updated my LJ and it's still alive?!?! unbelievable!
well lets see..where DO i start? so much has happened in the year of 06. actually from 05 last year till now.

well from my last entry, hurrican rita, (LOL)...eveyrthing seems to be fine. my familia & i didnt seem to have any problems whatsoever during that time. it was just traffic & huntsville got kinda crowded..the end of 05 gave me so much drama and you can tell i was stressed out. but i ended it all. so i had fresh start in 06. i turned 21, moved out of the house, got my own car, started working..and i guess you could say that i started living my life as an adult. im growing up! i also started dating someone :] his name's rob. he's a sweetheart...ive actually liked him since i first came to houston locale, and so many things happened since aug of 05 till march of 06. im not in the mood to write it all b/c i had so much {personal} issues abt him, the thought of "us", and all that...but long story short..we were friends first then started talking/hanging out again in january then became official in march 27 of 2006 :] i've been dating him since then.. for the first time in a loonnnnggg time, i actually have faith that this'll work out. and you know what, it's been working out. we've been dating for almost 9 months now and we're still going strong! :] we are in a long distance relationship right now, but it doesn't seem like it. he calls me everyday, makes sure i'm okay and he is still in love with me {feels good yo!} :p same here...we both miss each other but we are both working on it. everything's cool...s'all been gravy.

mom & dad are okay, had so much drama with them early in year, but, it all just made me a stronger person and it made them realize that i'm not a baby anymore. its been tough for them & me, but they are doing fine now. they still treat me like a baby when im home, which, i am not complaining about since they spoil me.. hehe. baddd. but yeah s'all been good. i'm the choir, i'm enjoying my life, and i'm very happy. i think i am ready to face the new year; i wrote down all my goals, w/c i made {very} realistic, and even though i've lost some friends along the way, everything that happened to me this year has made me a stronger person & i can face all the challenges that 07 will bring. with God's help, of course ;]

well i hope yall are doing good {whoever's reading this}. don't worry abt me..i'm still alive & kicking :]

till next blog,
tanya

Hurricane Rita...pshh..YOU'RE WEAK!!

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 21:00:43 GMT

and to think i got a lil panicked when the lights started to flicker! how silly of me. lol. but yeah everything is okay now. Thank you God! Thank you too for all those who were concerned..i appreciate all the prayers, calls and messages y'all gave me. I was able to sleep well last night. the hurricane passed by with just 45-60 mph winds (if i'm not mistaken) and the rain wasn't that much. it was just like signal #1 in the philippines. (sooo weak!!) A lot of people are here in Huntsville now coz they probably ran out of gas, their cars broke, or they're afraid that the hurricane will hit them and they're still on the road. Gas stations are still closed. i dunno if wal-mart is opened already. i doubt it coz everyone's probably still inside their homes enjoying their days-off. i wonder how traffic will be on monday..a lot of people definitely went up north and passed by i45..i hope there's no class on monday..so that i won't have to go to school until WEDNESDAY! (yay that means i have more study time! *yeah rite* lol)

well i'll post some pics later. see, i even took pictures..God answered our prayers and we're all okay. =)

Hurricane Rita is coming this way...

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 23:58:55 GMT

this is going to be my first hurricane. My family and i will be staying put in Huntsville coz there's no point for us to go anywhere since traffic is so bad..and it's definitely going to hit Houston too. they closed i45 southbound already. It's believed to be category 4. everything is closed! wal mart, brookshire..everything! all the gas stations are out of gas. forreal. a lot of people are camping out in the parking lots of the different stores. i'm still here at my tito's apt. we'll be leaving in a few minutes to go back to our apt.

i'm trying not to feel scared. i've been praying for God to protect me and my family. Please pray for us too.

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 18:27:35 GMT

i want a dog!!!

i miss having a dog..i miss Britney..she was my first dog, a mixed breed bought in Pampanga..up to now i really don't know what exactly shes mixed from but she's real pretty..she's chocolate brown with light (yellowish) parts on her foot, chest and above her eyebrows...i felt so bad when she didn't come back one day..i really cried. =( i remember the first time she came home, and i was looking at her face that was so adorable...i couldn't forget how happy i was when i saw her and find out that she was mine...I initially wanted to name her Aussie but MOM insisted that we name her "Britney" coz Britney Spears was such a hit then. haha. well of course my mom won, and i guess the name fit the dog better. Britney was so spoiled to me and everybody else that i think she didn't know she was a dog until she gave birth to 5 pups...and another 5 after that.

i've been thinking lately what kind of dog i want if ever i'll get one. on the top of my list is a Labrador. i want a chocolate one or a yellow one. they are smart dogs, and good swimmers too! only they can get big though... Anyway, the next in line is a Dachschund. It could be a miniature or the original size..it doesn't really matter, just as long as its not one of those hairy dachshunds..just the smooth ones. Ranking 3rd in my choices would be the cute, big eyed, short and stout fiesty Pug. =)

i know its mad expensive to have a dog here, and yes, i do have to pay rent for them in the apartment...plus the cost of food and to maintain a dog is really over the top..but..im just so lonely nowadays that i want companionship in my home (aside from my parents, ofcourse)...i want to go home and find a very adorable and lovable dog excited to see me and be with me and won't get annoyed when i talk weird (baby-like) to them..*sigh*

My voice, my very sexy voice...

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 16:21:43 GMT

...i wish it wouldn't go away! it's been 3 days since the SF and parts of my body are still sore and my voice is still gone (it's all good..like i said, i sound so sexy! and i love it! haha). muchos props to the Sports Fest held in Ft. Worth (or was it Arlington?) last Monday. I couldn't stop cheering for the Houston peeps...one word to describe the players: VICIOUS!! yep yep...they were all determined to win, and they did! Houston Locale was overall champion! Congratulations to all the players..y'all led the team to victory! go Houston!

[[rrrrewind>>

Saturday eve:

i couldn't sleep. so excited for the SF that i think i packed too much stuff. (which i did) prolly slept around 1ish after packing and repacking, and then packing again.

Sunday:

woke up at 530 am! yup..but i got out of bed around 7. i had to do some last minute repacking (again!) and then ate my breakie and lunch too. was able to chat with some ppl before i left. blah blah blah...went to diamond shamrock where i was to meet keen's family. rode with them in their nice durango. keen and darlene was there. non stop man! but its all good, they made the trip fun! after awhile they both fell asleep..so i was able to sleep too. yay. woke up when we were near the courtyard marriot hotel. when i came i kept on switching rooms...from keen's room to abby's room and finally ended up in my tita's and tito's room. its all good. everyone kept on offering me food.it's like every room had a buffet! haha. i was stuffed. after awhile i went swimming..mostly binhi's were there. it honestly felt incredible just being in the pool deck..the chlorine, the pool...brought back so many swimming memories to me...

i took a break, and then later on went swimming with the kadiwa's. yup the binhi's were still there too. major fun! a couple of hours later i went up to my room..Eddy asked me if i wanted to go and grab a bite with them but...i didn't go coz i was *shy*. yeah i know, im not normally like that but still...the houston crowd just makes me unbelievably intimidated coz all of them are so close with each other....PLUS i am allergic to chlorine so i gotta take a real good long shower to take it all off. (ironic isn't it? i've been a swimmer for more than 13 years, yet i am allergic to chlorine. haha) yeah so i just stayed in the room, watched Spiderman 2 and talked to a couple of people on the phone. slept around 11ish.

Monday

Woke up @ 615 am. talked to mom on the phone and then afterwards took a shower. fixed all my stuff and went to keen's room coz i was riding with them again. we were late already..so we just got mcdonald's for breakie. we missed the parade and opening ceremony but we were there for the rest of the day. i played vbo..it was outdoors, and the heat was killing me! kept on going in and out of the gym to watch the other games, and also to hang out with my friends from different locales. it was great seeing them all. and meeting new people too...i was real tired at the end of the day. Jayvin rode with us on the way home, and we talked endlessly! it was cool. we were listening to old school songs (Eheads man, the best!). Ka rolly & ka irene has good taste in music. lol. my folks picked me up by Starbucks and then we went home. told them a few stories only coz i was so tired and it was late...had the shower i was waiting for the whole day and then i just crashed on my bed.

[[*]]

I'm glad we got to move here in Huntsville, coz now my family and I get to attend church regularly and we get to attend the Southern Midwest District activities. it was an awesome weekend, and im looking forward to other activities of the locale and the district. i wouldn't miss it. i'll be there ~ fo sho!

half-way thru the day....

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 19:24:29 GMT

...and already I feel that my prayers has been answered. I feel so blessed!

The drive coming down to school was good. I was rockin to my tunes and thankfully no one that I know saw me. I was able to find a good parking spot, and I was early for my a&p class. Just as what my professor has told our class, she will have a question and answer portion before she starts lecture, just to see if we all did our homework. It's a good thing that I reviewed last night, even with all that drama that happened (no need to elaborate on that), a number of things actually stuck in my brain. no teflon material up there now. lol. anyway, i was able to answer the questions that she asked me. (whew!) good session today. i pretty much understood the lessons and lab wasn't hard at all. i proceeded to the bookstore to buy my scantrons with a classmate. after that we both went to the library, so I could study and she could make copies. I was able to see Abby from church and we sat together in the lib. After about an hour, I went to my Speech class. This is were i almost cried coz I just feel God's love, you know? so yeah, Stacy, my classmate in Speech, gave me her --wat she calls it--"old" lab manual and study guide. It's exactly the one that we're using right now. no pressures, no need to return, and its for free! i thought i had to pay for it or something but she really did give it for free. can you believe that! i just saved myself a good $170++. yay! plus her seat mate Wendi is gonna give me her old a& p books..w/c is good for reference. sweet! i feel like heaven's gate opened and the blessings outpoured today....i just hope it won't close coz i'll be damned if it did.... lol.

plus...I'll be going to SF up in Fort Worth this weekend. hopefully I can play V-bo (volley ball) and hopefully I won't do any splits when i play. (yeah im scared my pants or shorts will rip!) I'm excited to stay in a hotel where most of the ppl i know are staying there..its just like old times when the the LSGH Oysters went to Hong Kong for a competition. that was fun. those were good memories. and i'm sure this weekend will be like that too, or maybe even better! I can't wait! :)

so yeah...its all good. :)

Hurricane Katrina

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 19:36:35 GMT

Please pray for those who were affected by Hurricane Katrina. If you read/watch the news, chaos is arising in the New Orleans Superdome and situations are slowly declining...they lack food, water, & shelter...anything you can donate, please do so..

go to news.yahoo.com they've got links there on how to help the affected people and you can also be updated of their situation.

My Prayer

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 04:05:22 GMT

kung magagawa ko lang to....

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me the chance to study this Fall. I thought you're gonna let me rest again this semester and make me gain weight as I sit my ass infront of the computer, the t.v. and the oven (watching my banana cake bake).

I started school this week, and I am really having fun. My professors are real cool. My classes seem to be pretty challenging but I know I'll get through this...

But I need your help...I need to buy books...Please send me $226.00 for my Anatomy and Physiology books (text+lab), $76.00 for my Psychology 2314 book, and $65 for my Speech 1318 book. = $367.00 total for books only. If you can also pay for my tuition, it's around $500 due next month.

I prefer cash..money order, I'll accept.. Check, I'll accept (pay to cash or my mom).

Gas prices went up .20cents this week. Please send extra money for gas. and my lunch money too...my school has Starbucks inside the campus. I miss drinking the coffee, eating the cookies and cakes, and of course drinking those venti-sized frapuccinos. sige na nga...i'll settle for tall nalang..just so i can taste it...

Okay well I got to go...please bless my mom, my dad, and all of my friends who truly care and love me.

I love you...Thank you very much for everything!

AMEN

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 16:21:15 GMT

love without trust : is that possible?

love without trust = like nalang ???

:-o

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 04:56:29 GMT

today wasnt so bad after all. i went to school and was able to change my sched and add 1 more class. it was just tiring..with all the driving and the heat. makes me wonder how im gonna survive p.i.'s weather if i go back home.

im going to bed or else i wont be able to wake up ealry again tomorrow.

hello hello

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 18:13:58 GMT

well ive finally fixed my page..but its still not yet done. i think this is better than the previous ones. simple lang. im still familiarizing myself with all the css thingy. I finally got my laptop back--its like good as new. my tito fixed it..he's so good with computers! he didn't even take any computer course. he just learned it all by himself. ang galing talaga!

ANYWAY well this week is suppose to be the start of my Fall term with SHSU, but...unfortunately i won't be going there coz its too damn expensive. i feel so bad about it..i really busted my ass just to get in to that school....and I'm in, but I won't be able to study there :( its so sad..it took me a long time before i got over that. Sam Houston State U is pretty much what i had dreamt an American University would be like. about 3 weeks ago I had my sched already and I was walking around the campus looking for my classrooms..it was such a good feeling, i even saw a squirrel on the lawn in between the buildings. its so nice there. their student center is like a hotel--literally! theyve got a club there for playing pool, and i think they show a movie once a week w/c is free. *sigh* i guess life doesn't turn out the way you always wanted it to be..*sigh* well I have my faith, and I'm a firm believer that God has everything planned out for me..its just accepting what He wants for me is the hard part.

I'll be going to Montgomery college instead. it's a comm. college (again) like epcc. it's not that bad though. at least there they've got a nursing degree and i'm in the program already. Peaches told me that this is a blessing in disguise..and u know what? i believe that now. at least if i go to Montgomery Coll, i will be able to finish soon and i can take the board for RN already. the sooner i can start working, the sooner i can help my parents and get my papers rolling.

I've got my sched already but i have to change that again and add mre classes so tomorrow i'm gonna go there to fix it.it's around 40 miles away from my house..pretty far, but i like the drive anyway. i see lots of pine trees and green grasses. reminds me so much of Baguio when it wasnt that crowded yet.

oh by the way, i finally got a mic, so i can call anyone through ym (the beta version). isn't that cool?? hehe. let me know if uve got a ym id & a mic so i can call yah! :)

visit my myspace: www.myspace.com/crazymacaroons (i'm gonna get copyright on crazymacaroons!!! hehe)

~*~

+ happy birthday to Eliezer!!! miss yah dude! (aug. 22)

+ belated happy birthday to Aro boy, my super gwapong cousin! (aug. 21)

under construction

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:16:15 GMT

i'm still alive. still living in texas. still working on my blog...so don't write any mean comments okay.

oh yeah i just watched lotr trilogy..ang haba!!!

this sucks. i'll erase this once my page is finished. i miss you all!!

xoxo

hola

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 21:26:04 GMT

It has been ages since I last updated my lj again. don't get mad, I've got 5 reasons for that:

1) my neighbor moved out and he left me with no free internet anymore. I hate going to LJ using a dial-up internet..it's just so freaking slow man. 2) i've been going to different places (ca, nm) and i haven't had the time to sit down and update 3) i'm lazy to update 4) ive been so busy the past few weeks and 5) i'm real lazy to go online and update....(hey, it's summer time!)

just want to say thanks to those who still comment and check out my lj. i'm still alive, don't worry! we are moving at the end of the month hence the reason why I've been so busy. I can't wait to move, only, I am getting more and more stressed out the nearer our move-out day comes. Its just like moving out of the p.i. again. I can't wait for this to be done and over with.

adios amigos, tty'all later.

this is long but worth reading...

Wed, 04 May 2005 05:36:49 GMT

PSEUDO-RELATIONSHIPS

Scenario 1:

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends." They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex. They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark. "its like they’re together but they’re not..."

Scenario2:

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same clique. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting something. How come they like to be alone when the whole group has an overnight drinking bout? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Why are they always holding each other’s hands? Are they together? "He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me…Its like we’re together but we’re not"

Scenario 3:
They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at mall. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company beach outing and never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

Scenario 4:
She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out. They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that they are a “couple” but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

~*~*~*~
The "its-like-we’re-together-but-we’re-not" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. There may or may not be a verbal agreement. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, but it’s also possible that you haven’t. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. There was no formal courtship that happened. The two of you are not an item, but with your actions, you act like you’re together. But you’re not.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, you don’t want to get back together again.

It can also happen before a relationship, wherein the both of you are just “testing the waters.” It’s also possible that you don’t want to get serious first…just make-believe or pretend will be fine…Testing, 1, 2, 3…

Another reason is maybe one of you—usually the guy—is in a relationship with someone else. And since he hasn’t broken up yet with his “girlfriend” (which he said he will do soon but never really happens) you can’t have a serious relationship so that it won’t seem like he’s “cheating.” You and him are not together anyway.

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Especially if you just want to fool around. BUT!!! Don’t expect that this will go somewhere since pseudo-relationships are full of uncertainty.

So how come some people still settle with this kind of set-up even though they don’t know where the pseudo-relationship is going to?

There are so many reasons. One is just to have fun. Another is, for some people, they think that it’s better to have someone than no one…meaning, if the real thing ain’t there yet, its okay for them to settle for the pretend relationship.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that feeling that makes you all so giddy inside.

I admit, that once upon a time, I have had pseudo-relationships. No commitments involved. For the simplest reasons that they couldn’t commit because they were either committed to someone else or that they weren’t ready to commit.

My rationalization, "that’s better than nothing."

All I’m after for anyway is that “giddy” feeling. You know, someone who will ask you how your day went. Someone to cuddle during beach outings. Someone to make you smile for the stupidest reasons, like when you see his name on your cell phone or you get a text message from him. Having someone around… since the real thing isn’t there yet, I guess, this will do for now. I can deal with this.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, the girl is the one who loses.

First of all, you can’t ask him to commit. Since it’s not really a relationship, you can’t demand commitment from your partner. What are you two? Do you have the right to tell him to pick you up in the middle of the night? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to always be there with you and for you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Who are you in his life to feel jealous?

Second of all, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. You’re probably just assuming that he loves you too. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't, because you're not sure if he'll like it. You might end up humiliated in front of him. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Third of all, what if you become too attached? What if you have invested all your emotions in him and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?

Another downside of pseudo-relationships is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, you don’t know where you stand in a pseudo-relationship. You don’t have anything to hold on to because it is just a pseudo-relationship. There is no “us.” There’s a “me” and “you,” but not an “us.”

If only it’s just pseudo-pain that you’ll feel. But no, it’s real pain. And usually, even after the pseudo-relationship, you can’t help but think that it’s still attached to something, someday…you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else. Or worse, he may be in a real relationship with someone.

It’s hard huh? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

But you know you can avoid the pain. You can not think about the future and just enjoy the feeling. Don’t think about the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, you need to choose. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a friend told me, "fine, if you don’t want me to meddle in your love life, that’s your call. Have fun! But don’t even come to me crying when all of this is done...this is your fault.”

The bottom line is, if it will make you happy, then go for it. Just prepare yourself for the consequences. Because the “it’s-like-we’re-together-but-we’re-not” stage rarely becomes true. Usually, it just stays like that…almost, but not quite...

check check check

Mon, 02 May 2005 07:24:04 GMT

i hate it, im so dumb with computers! im broadening my knowledge in LJ and basically everything about computers so that i could make my blog look cool. haha! bahala na. no one's helping me kasi eh............................... (natamaan ka na ba?) ...............................(eh ngayon?) ...................... (lang ya, manhid ka ata ah!)